walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
