her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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