You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
