I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
