I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
