can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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