bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
that is very illegal...i love you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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