he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
