You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize