you mean i was at the winter classic?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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