You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night