sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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