oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space