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• (619): View more from California

  Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.

  (1-619): View more from California

  i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  what did you hear about me?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around

  (630): View more from Illinois

  that was hard to say and not laugh

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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• (406): View more from Montana

  You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  That literally makes no sense

  (406): View more from Montana

  Exactly

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• (646): View more from New York

  According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.

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• (619): View more from California

  I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.

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