So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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