so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
