everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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