i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
