I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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