at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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