I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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