I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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