I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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