I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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