Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
