Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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