I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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