garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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