whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
