my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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