You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
drinking out of a sandbucket again
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
