i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
