I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
