Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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