Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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