Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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