Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
