IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
