Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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