I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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