Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
3 2 1 whiskey
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
