seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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