if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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