best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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