dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
