so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
