I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
