Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
