after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize