Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
