I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
