Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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