I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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