Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize