You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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