you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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