do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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