I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
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He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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